Gratitude

The following article was originally published in the September 2024 issue of Roqueta, Menorca's English-language magazine.

During 24 years of ordained ministry I have served in a number of churches in the United States, Canada and Spain. Almost every church has a list of prayer requests - for example, for people who need healing of some sort - which are included in the prayers every Sunday - and maybe more often. It has struck me on several occasions that most of the prayer requests are intercessions, in other words asking for something. Relatively few are prayers of thanksgiving - or appreciation for blessings received.

Three years ago I touched briefly upon the idea of being intentionally thankful, concluding with the suggestion that we should: ‘every once in a while, when something good happens to us … reflect with wonder, and ask, “Why me?”’ Because we are more inclined to ask the same question, whether out of a genuine sense of disappointment or hurt, or based upon a petulant sense of entitlement, when something bad happens to us. It is all too easy to take the good things of life for granted and then to grumble when things don’t go our way. Wouldn’t it be better if our standard practice was to try to recognise daily how many good things we receive in life, and give thanks for them?

Having lived for nearly twenty years in the USA, I’m familiar with the importance of the holiday of Thanksgiving. For many people, it is an opportunity to gather as a family. In fact one of the enduring images of American self-understanding is that of a Thanksgiving table, where people celebrate abundance, serve one another, and make sure all are fed. It is, arguably, the most important festival celebrated in that country - more so than Christmas, because it embraces those of all faiths and none. It is a custom in many households to begin the Thanksgiving meal by giving each person an opportunity to mention something for which they are thankful - which is rather a good idea. It focuses attention on the idea of thankfulness and gratitude. Verbalising gratitude helps to imbed it into our way of life.

The American Thanksgiving table is also an iconic representation of the higher ideals by which we are to live. People give with no expectation of return, and joy replaces obligation. There exists no deal, no quid pro quo around the table. This vision of gratitude is truly virtuous, sustains the common good, ensures a circle of equality, and strengthens community.

Expressions of gratitude can be public, as when incorporated into communal worship, or they can be private. Thankfulness can be a profoundly personal spiritual practice. Of course, the moment we talk about gratitude in public, it invariably becomes debatable and even political. The problem isn’t social expression of gratitude. The problem is how we understand the structure of gratitude. Is gratitude a demand or obligation? Is it entwined with privilege and power or is it an expression of humility and grace? The writer Diana Butler Bass has suggested that, ‘Jesus himself was an ingrate. He was not grateful to or for the Roman structure of gratitude! Indeed, much of the New Testament demonstrates his alternative vision of gratitude - as a subversive practice of thankfulness that demolishes boundaries between people and establishes a community of solidarity around a table of God’s gifts.’

The Christian faith insists that there is only one Benefactor, the divine Creator, and all of us are the beneficiaries of the sacred gift of life and life’s good gifts. The principal act of worship in the Christian church is the sacrament of Holy Communion, which we also call the Eucharist - a word derived from the Greek term for thanksgiving. Those gathered around the Communion table recognise our common state, and with humble hearts, freely give thanks for the Giver, for those sitting with us, and for the gifts themselves. We pass those gifts freely as well. Around this table, all can find a place, and all will be fed, equally. No one owns the gifts shared in communion. Every one of us receives. And every one of us is invited to give thanks.

The expression of thankfulness can expand beyond particular items of thanks - whether it is the sunrise over the mouth of the harbour in Es Castell (see photo, above!), or the beauty of a sunset, or the sight of a mother gently nursing her infant child, or the feeling of shared exuberance at a sports event, or a good glass of wine, or the wonder of two people finding that they were made for each other. It can extend to the recognition that life itself is something for which we can and should be thankful. If we consciously notice that life is a gift, it cultivates gratitude, which helps us sense the generosity that surrounds us: in the people who came before us who made the world we take for granted, in the invisible people across this world who produce the food and clothes and gadgets upon which we rely, in the visible people with whom we work and live, those who illuminate our lives with kindness or patience or loyalty or trust. And above all, the generosity abundantly bestowed upon us in creation.

The mediaeval philosopher and theologian, Meister Eckhart, captured it all rather well when he said, ‘If the only prayer you ever pray is “thanks,” that will be enough.’